trauma is hard. i go to work every day and am thrown into the middle of some of the most horrific situations that one can imagine. and yes i get frustrated with the incompetence of certain residents, and yes i occasionally get patients and families that are so ridiculously demanding that it makes me rue the day i became a nurse, but that's not what really wears on me. the hardest part about trauma is that it's just so REAL.
we're all taught that life is full of second chances. you don't like something about yourself? change it. you can be what you want to be, and you can do what you want to do. make mistakes!! no apologies, no regrets.
do you know what's really hard? coming to terms with the fact that this carefree, consequenceless life that we're all encouraged to live is a total lie. some things are just irreparable. some mistakes can't be undone. there are lapses in judgement that, when made, can change the course of your entire life. and there are things that happen in an instant that can ruin you.
cases in point: two 21 year olds on a motorcycle. they crash, unhelmeted. he's in the ICU fighting to live with a chunk of his skull missing and she's on the floor with me barely responsive.
the tension in her room is palpable. will she wake up? will she ever be the same again? and will her boyfriend live? will he have permanent deficits? what are the odds that these two will ever be what they were?
so much is unknown. so we wait. and she IS getting better, every day. and he's still breathing, still fighting.
it bothers me, that these two got on a motorcycle without a care in the world, probably thinking how great it was to be so young and wild and free. and in an instant, life turned on them. and that's how life is, i guess. but it just seems so incredibly cruel.
maybe these two will get a second chance. or maybe only one will. either way, their lives will never be the same again. and they will never be quite as young or carefree as they were.
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