needs.

do you know what gets really old?  putting my needs last.  all the time.  apparently this is the career path that i've chosen: the road to selflessness.  in a word?  overrated.

is it really so much to ask that i get an uninterrupted half hour at some point during the shift so i can eat?  that's all i want!!  thirty minutes.  instead, today i crammed my dinner down my face in approximately five minutes and returned to running around the floor.

and speaking of uninterrupted, always being available is ridiculously annoying.  all day long i wear a phone clipped to my neck.  convenient, you say!  not so.  this is a torture device invented by 'the man' to make sure that i am operating at max productivity.  because it's not good enough that i do three things at once, i now can take multitasking to the next level by being available to field phone calls at all times.

it's enough to drive me to drink.  which i am, by the way.  i am trying to cover my anger with wine and it's clearly not working.

i come to work and feel like i'm set up for failure most days.  who's brilliant idea was it to remove half the staff from the floor all at once to go to meetings?  as if it's not bad enough that i have to keep my own four patients alive, now i have become responsible for "watching" three other patients who i know nothing about.  i dread the beginning of the shift, because it's chaos, all the time.  forget seeing any of my patients, i spend the first two hours of the shift toileting the masses.

here's what i want:  to feel like i'm actually accomplishing anything instead of just spinning my wheels. to get to eat lunch.  to get to go to the bathroom once in awhile.  to spend time with my patients and not constantly be interrupted by phone calls.  to have someone help me every now and then so i don't feel like i'm being eaten alive.

because i have needs, too.