the following will land you in the hospital:
*antagonizing feral cats
*driving ATVs up trees
*getting a Lincoln dropped on your chest
*falling out of your tree stand
*runaway horse-drawn carriage crashes
*attempting to slit your throat with a circular saw. NOTE: this also applies to shooting yourself in the chest, stabbing yourself in the neck, drinking bottles of rubbing alcohol, etc. etc.
*attempting to crawl in second story windows after locking yourself out of your house following a night of drinking
*running from the police. this includes jumping off bridges, out of second story windows, and (of course) car chases
*DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT strip at an illegal tavern while 9 months pregnant. it will not end well.
*driving your car in thigh-high go go boots
*tripping over your dog and landing on a fire-poker
ok so i lied. sometimes the real world IS like grey's anatomy. truth is stranger than fiction? i think yes.
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