ode to trauma

why, oh trauma, must you make my life so hard?
the patient comes up bleeding, big circle on the pillow
why did you not find the lac in the ED?
fix her there, and i will not have to give my firstborn for a skin stapler.
nor run to the OR myself to fetch it for you.
and why, oh trauma, do you ask me to wash her hair?
it is monday, it is the start of my shift, this is my 5th patient.
i have not seen the others, and i don't know if they are all alive.
while you're at it, trauma, please address this patient's gaping ankle wound.
you need more supplies? but of course.
i will sell my body to the OR in exchange for some 4.0 nylon and a needle driver.
and also, trauma, where have you hidden her orders?
they do not come up with the chart.
they are not at the desk.
oh!!  they are in your pocket.
"that does me no good"
that may have been hostile, but it is the truth.
lastly, dear trauma, would you please give me ointment?
this patient is covered in scratches
bacitracin? neosporin? triple antibiotic?
"whatever you want.  you decide"
now THAT is the best thing you've said all day.