derp derp derp

do you ever have one of those days where you feel stupid all the time?  i just did.  i deserve it, probably, for thinking that for once in my career i finally kind of have it together.

lies.

so i had this sweet, innocent, kind GSW (no sarcasm intended) who started out the week with me with bile coming out of his chest tube.  oops.  a diaphragm repair and a few days later, he got his chest tube pulled and was going to go home.  except for the fact that he had whooshing sounds coming from under his chest dressing.  we did a stat chest xray, and it was so bad that i could even see the pneumo...because it was like half the lung.  not.  good.  the doctor called me to say that i needed to bring the patient up to the ICU for a new chest tube, so i went to let the patient know.  except for the fact that he wasn't in his bed.

...or in the patient lounge....

....or in the front lobby...

ok.  so my guy with the collapsed lung is nowhere to be found, and now i look like a total tool trying to explain to the ICU nurse that it's going to be a minute until we come up because i can't find my patient.

fortunately, he WAS in the cafeteria.

after an extremely awkward conversation in the checkout line where i tried to explain the situation without compromising patient privacy to the other half dozen people in line, the patient came back to the floor and i delivered him to the ICU.  at this point i'm sweating from running all over the hospital, but felt pretty ok...

...until i realize like 15 minutes later that i pulled out the patient's IV two days before because he hadn't needed it and then i just delivered him to the ICU with an urgent situation and no access.

derp derp derp.

so this nurse already thinks i'm an idiot, because first my patient was lost and now i'm the stupid floor nurse who doesn't have a line in my patient and didn't even notice.

well.  there's that.

so that situation was a loss, but i still was doing ok overall.  and i still had my guy down the hall who totally had an ileus that the doctors were ignoring.  we had FINALLY gotten them to turn the IV fluids back on for this man who had a belly like he was 10 months pregnant, and that was a victory.

so i wasn't a total failure.  until i went into the patient's room and realized that he had gotten a meal tray.

technically his diet was still general, but i had been advancing him slow because of his bowel function. the patient was developmentally delayed, so i didn't think that he'd be able to order dinner without me helping him.  except for the fact that i forgot when people miss two meals, the cafeteria calls them to ask them if they would like to order.

apparently what my developmentally delayed, 3 days post-op with an ostomy reversal, not fully returned to good bowel function patient would like to order was a personal pizza, a plate of french fries, and a brownie.

he ate the whole thing.

derp derp derp again.

and i quote the resident "have fun sinking an NG and sucking out pizza.  i'm going home."

some days you just have to chalk up as a loss.