H&P gems

there's nothing that brightens my days quite like a good giggle while reading a patient's chart.  i have recently enjoyed the following:

• "patient states he 'put the pedal to the metal' and hit a wall going 100 mph.  denies meth x1 week". (oh good, way to cut back)

• "patient currently resides at big mama love's carehouse " (homeless shelter vs. brothel...hard to say...)

• "patient agitated, stating 'you sons of bitches aren't going to keep me from seeing my cats!!' " (delirious patient on why she needed to DC to her house and not to a nursing home)

• "patient states reason for admission is 'i use the bathroom too much' " (actual reason for admission: rib fractures x4 with hemo/pneumo that needed a chest tube)

good stuff, all around.